Maybe you saw the ad during the Super Bowl, or in the days afterward, from New York Life Insurance, of all places.
Identifying the types of love that were described by the ancient Greeks: philios, love between friends that is loyal and deep. Storgé, the love between a grandfather and a grandson, for example, that is unique to family bonds. Eros, love that is physical, abiding, draws two people together in a unique bond. And agapé, a love that is self-giving, self-emptying, given freely for the sake of another. Valentine’s Day is often associated with eros, the word “erotic” comes from the same word root. Red hearts, and cupid’s shooting arrows of love, are how we often think of this time of year: budding romance, the jewelry companies showing us the kneeling man in front of a woman who has a joyful look of love and surprise on her face, and the cologne purveyors showing us images of desire and longing. It is also, in the days prior, the look in the eyes of guys in work clothes, suits, or jogging clothes, huddled in front of a pink display of Valentine’s cards, or eyeing flowers and heart shaped boxes of candy in the grocery store, looking slightly confused, desperate, or resigned. “You all have started EARLY!” said a woman with an amused look as she passed the group in front of the cards and candy in the store on the 13th. The word Love does deserve more of our attention, and on more than one day, or in an insurance ad. It’s an incredibly important word. And I wonder at times, whether our one English word does the fullness of the word justice. It does involve so much more than the ways we often narrow the word down. Love of family is important, erotic and physical love is important to our being human. And yet to limit love to even these two things hides the far larger meaning of love. I wonder at times, if we don’t need the three more words for love somehow, like we find in the ancient Greek. Such as the importance of friendship, philios, for example. Think of the birth of our nation, much of it in Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love, and the ways in which it was the “friendship” of states and commonwealths, which grew enough to make a nation. The relationships between the colonies — or their leaders — deepened and loyal enough to recognize that united we stand, divided we fall. We don’t often talk about love helping to begin this nation, but in a very real sense, it’s true. And then of course there’s agapé, the “love word” used most often in the New Testament of the Bible. God is love, the first letter of John says, and of course it’s agapé that the writer describes God by; a self giving, self emptying God so loving the world to give his son Jesus for the sake of the life of everyone, even of the world itself. It’s a love that does not limit itself, but offers itself, causes us to offer ourselves. We can think of love in ways that has limits: “only” for family, only for my friends, only for my own pleasure, but the full expression of love helps us to look beyond ourselves. It is also true that while agape is by far the most common expression of love in God’s Word, all the other expressions of love can be found there as well. The whole expression of love is found, and in truth all the expressions of love complements each other. How much more rich the love of family, the love of friends, and the love of committed relationships are when self-giving, self-emptying love is equally a part. When we love for the sake of others, we find, in doing so, that love and blessing comes back to us. It’s what God intends for us as God’s creation. The one who is love.
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AuthorPastor Paul came to Grace to serve as our Pastor in October 2012. After a first career in product and graphic design, he was ordained in 1993, and has served as a parish pastor in Virginia and South Carolina. He is married to Jill and they have two daughters, one at Roanoke College and one at James Madison University. Archives
December 2021
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